you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
