Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
im six kinds of drunk right now
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
