I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
