If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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