I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
