He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
