This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
