...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize