Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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