Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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