Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
