I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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