I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
