I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
