I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize