you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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