She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
this will be a night to untag.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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