i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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