I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
