I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have demons in me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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