Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
