My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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