Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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