So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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