i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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