There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
