Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just tell him i said nine months
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
