he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize