I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
