So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize