I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
