you have to choose: penises or morals?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
