So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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