Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
