I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
