Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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