he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think people are normalizing furries
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
