Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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