I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
