You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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