Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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