but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
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I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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