i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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