Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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