Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
