i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
