dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
