Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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