Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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