Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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