I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
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I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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