We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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