No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
