I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He felt like a one man threesome
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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