Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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