Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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