I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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